Stevens Johnson

1 month ago."Dad, what illness that nanny get?" I drove my car fetching my dad on the way back to our home.

"Stevens Johnson..."He replied.

A name of combination of Steven Gerrard and Glen Johnson, that what i think of. "A doctor name?"I asked.

"Disease name."He answered solemnly. This was our conversation along the way we back home.

8 days ago, my parent asked me went back Kota Bharu immediately, they told me that grandmum couldn't live any longer. 11pm, once I reached the airport, my mum directly fetched me to General Hospital. My dad was waiting there that time. Since it already late, I was told to visit my grandmum's ICU room alone.

After informed my grandmum's name, a nurse led me to my grandmum's room. Along the way, I saw many patient lying on the bed suffering their pain. I was wondering what had happened to them. When facing serious illness, human life is very tiny.

When i reached a single ICU room which was at the end of the corridor, through the glass, I saw a bald patient lying on the bed unconsciously with an oxygen mask and plenty of medical equipments were surrounding her. When I look closely, OMG! She was my grandmum, I can't even recognise her. With a blanket covered her body, I can see a lot of ulcer on her shoulder, neck, face and some even with pus. Goshh... A tube came out from her throat, another tube connected to a machine which blood flood in and out, another tube connected to a yellowish liquid package under her bed which i believed was her urine. God! She was just an old lady and what the hell she needed to suffer all of this!?The f*cking disease was torturing her.

My tear started to drop. My heart felt very pain I almost collapsed. I  leant on the window. What i wish was i could help her to suffer all of this. I felt helpless. Just kept on praying. She breathed heavily, so did I. The monitor showed some numbers and i believed that they were all below the par. She started to move her head. I felt that she knew I was there. At that moment, I hope to went inside the room and hold her hand, at least could calm her down. But I didn't. I not sure whether I can go in or not as the door was stuck with a paper written "Pelawat Dilarang Masuk", and no one was around for me to ask. Without any protection or stelirisation, I scared I would bring virus to her. I kept on standing at there staring at her. Tear continued to drop. 

The next day, everyone was asked to hospital to meet my grandmum for the very last time. I saw everyone's face was tire and upset. After had a discussion with doctor, dad and uncles decided to take off the oxygen mask. They decided to let her go instead of continued suffering in this world. Everyone cried in that room. One of my cousin wailed and kept shouting :"Nanny....nanny...."The whole atmosphere was full of sadness. Everyone wanted to do something but everyone was helpless. With her reddish eyes, my mum asked me to tell my grandmum to leave us peacefully. I hold my grandmum hand tightly and whispered to her what my mum told me. After that, everyone took turn to feed her some water with a bottle cap. After an hour after took off the oxygen mask, she left us. This was the first time I saw my dad cried, he cried badly. So did my uncles, aunties, cousins.. everyone cried. My heart started to bleed when i saw my grandfather. He cried. I believed he was the one who hurt the most. A partner which spent entire life with him, left him. Without saying anything, I just hugged him quietly.

Me and My Grandmum

Life is short. We must cherish and appreciate what we have right now especially our family and the one that we love. REST IN PEACE, Grandmum, we always love you. You always have us and you are not alone.